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Most big ideas begin with a notion. A simple ‘what-if’. What happens next determines whether their embryonic state matures or gets buried under another to-do list.
… What if you could take that embryonic notion and place it an environment that guarantees its tiny beating heart enough oxygen for it to expand and grow?
These 7 proven steps show you how:
An article about getting out of compliance-thinking and into growth-mastery — the mindset of self-leadership. Inspired by Seth Godin.
Compliance is a costly mistake bred into education systems. It’s where masses of young people first learn group-think, permission-seeking and how to fit-in.
Those who don’t follow the rules are treated harshly, ostracized from the group or ‘managed’ through a process of fear designed to ignite the reptilian brain and destroy individuality.
I’ve studied a lot. 2 Masters degrees. Several post-grad degrees. Learnt from the best in the field in a range of disciplines from marketing and writing to personal growth.
At a ‘head level’ I’ve got a lot tucked into my little brain.
But …
It wasn’t until studying — no, wrong word — experiencing Creative Mindfulnessthat I unlearned what I thought I knew and discovered more about myself, my relationships and how the shield I kept between me and the outside world was holding me back.
Here’s what I discovered:
1. Creative People Put Themselves In Boxes
Only 25% of people believe they’re living up to their potential to be creative.
This means that 75% of creatives aren’t. And most likely are dumbing-down insights, creative intelligence and the chance to be valued more highly — both financially and professionally.
Animals Know What We’ve Forgotten
- How to focus, then let go of disappointment fast
- How to release muscle tension when stress passes
- How to be in the present moment.
Reaching goals can bring out our best and worst. The thrill of leaning into a goal needs weighing against the angst of making slow progress. It can be a stressful business.
And while 75–90% of all visits to doctors are stress related (estimation), it’s time to take onboard these 7 ideas:
Why Learn?
“You are learning how to live. Because you want to be freer, fear less, and achieve a state of peace.” — Ryan Holiday, The Daily Stoic.
That’s what learning is. Opening a door, one leading from an ordinary world to a journey unknown. They’re rarely smooth. I’ve taken them before. It will challenge me. Sometimes drag me through fire. At other times I’ll feel as if drowning.
And every step of the way will open another opportunity. Another view. Yet one closed, if I hadn’t turned the handle.
Without seeking, nothing is found.
If Your Life Sucked Yesterday; It Will Again Today Unless …
“Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own …” — Epictetus.
No one ethically knows the outcome of a game. We cannot make someone love us. We cannot dictate the weather.
Being top of the class used to be a predictor of success. Along with your IQ — a they offered a passport to … anything you wanted.
That was then.
These days your school record and IQ score are as good a predictor of success as your hair colour is.
“Many people are living in an emotional jail without realizing it.” — Virginia Satir
Virginia Satir (1916–88) was a family therapist with an eye for seeing what those she worked with couldn’t.
In her work with families, Satir categorised 5 types of behaviour she noticed people defaulting to. These behavioural defaults emerged in times of discomfort — around arguments or moments of emotional charge.
In this article, we’re looking at one category: the placater. You may see yourself here. Or not.
“Many people are living in an emotional jail without realizing it.” — Virginia Satir
Virginia Satir (1916–88) was a family therapist with an eye for seeing what those she worked with couldn’t.
In her work with families, Satir categorised 5 types of behaviour she noticed people defaulting to. These behavioural defaults emerged in times of discomfort — around arguments or moments of emotional charge.
In this article, we’re looking at one category: the placater. You may see yourself here. Or not.
“I believe in the resistance as I believe there can be no light without shadow; or rather, no shadow unless there is also light.”
― Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale
When starting my first garden, I couldn’t get the old spade to make a dent in the ground.
Each jab into the hard-core earth jarred my shoulder. No yielding.
I found the spade rusting under a pile of ‘one-day-useful’ junk in the back shed. Someone’s warrior garden tool.
A few more sharp jabs, angling the spade the way I saw my father do, and a splinter of soil cracked.
I looked at the spade. And it at me.
One of us wasn’t cut out for this job.
So you’ve got a problem. Another one. It’s landed on your lap and you have to solve it. Fast. It may be with your partner. Your colleague. Your boss. Or with getting more sales.
Fact is that it’s yours. And your back’s against the wall.
What’s the best solution?
Answer: Ask the right questions.
“I will never understand all the good that a simple smile can accomplish.” Mother Teresa
Researchers say that children smile at least 400 times a day.
Adults? Perhaps 20 … if lucky.
This may be an urban myth, but even if the numbers are out … what does it mean for those who smile big, broad and bountiful smiles and those who think a grimace gets them by?
I carried a backpack for a long time. Not a literal one. More a ‘case history’ of life’s wrongs caused by choosing partners I could have, should have and (would have) avoided like the plague if only I’d watched and learned from the humble snail.
When I first began writing I listened to the advice: “If you want to be a writer, write”.
My dream was to write the type of stories that turned children, like my then 9-year-old son into devout readers. Stories filled with heros that would move the needle from insecure to courageous.
So I wrote.
Drivel.
This is why creativity starts with curiosity.
It stretches with raw data into new patterns.
Sees random chunks of meaning in mess.
And builds eye-popping solutions with the right approach.
But … If you don’t believe you’re creative … it’s time to flip this mindset.
As Henry Ford said: “If you think you can, or think you can’t — you’re right”.
This is why so many fail ...
“Where there is an open mind, there will always be a frontier.”
― Dorothea Brande
Feeling frustrated with your results?
Can’t see yourself getting what you want no matter how much you stretch yourself? Keep reading. You’re not alone.
You have a problem. And it’s likely you’re not aware of it.
Here it is: Marketers’ tactics are controlling your life.
And up to this point, you’ve had little come-back. Now you do.
A nation’s culture resides in the heart and in the soul of its people. Mahatma Gandhi
We live in a society where others’ standards set social and cultural ‘norms’ and expectations.
Size of your home.
Shape of your car.
Balance of your bank account.
Career ladders and pay packets.
With 9–5 jobs the accepted route to strive for these life ‘norms’.
In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. Albert Camus
If happiness was simple to achieve, we’d all be reveling in it.
So for a moment, imagine pausing from the rush of busy and focus. Because it’s in ‘de-focusing’ that magic can happen.
Getting what you want in life isn’t easy.
You pull out every ounce of courage. Take risks. And hold yourself accountable in case you fall.
Yet statistics say even if you push past what’s holding you back (yourself included) you’ll still fail.
Here’s how to stack the odds in your favour.
If we stick with ‘what we know’ and are familiar with we can be blind to new ways of ‘seeing’.
- Whether it’s the person you’ve been with for decades.
- The job you’re tiring of.
- The life you’re frustrated with.
- Or the confounding technical problem you’re charged with solving.
In the world of business, economics, science or art — the act of seeing from an ‘oblique’ perspective is a commodity highly sought.
Why? Because it’s a rare skill.
Creativity is not solely defined by those who are expressive artists.
Imagine, no matter what role you have, being able to solve problems more quickly, come to deeper insights more readily and 'see' the solution in the complex because you had the ability to think more creatively?
What could this do for your life, your work, your relationships and your personal satisfaction in life?
Who are you a 'hero' to? Who looks up to you? Who is inspired by you? Who relies on you to turn up as the best version of you everyday?
Your child? Your parents? Your partner? Your boss? Your friends?
It's not a question asked very often.
Easier to think of the people we aspire to be like - the historical or blockbuster heroes of movie dreams come true.
Having trouble describing what you do? Feel as if your messaging is as murky as Shrek's swamp?
I know what it feels like, I used to be in your shoes until I nailed this one thing.
If you want to avoid the single biggest mistake that many counselors, therapists and coaches make that's keeping their business swamp-bound, then check out this tip.
Get this one element right and you could receive FREE media exposure - just like a counselor did who I'm working with to help her grow her business.
I didn’t think of my husband as an alcoholic. I knew he had a drinking problem, I just thought it was a lifestyle choice — one that meant he drank down the local hotel while I stayed home with our son. From his perspective he didn't have a problem, his drinking was a part of who he was - the only person who had a problem was me.
He didn’t fit the picture of the down and out person begging for coins to buy a bottle of metho, so during our marriage I didn't realise I was dealing with an alcoholic husband.
Perfectionists have it good. As long as what they want to create, express or perform is never quite good enough for them, there’s no need to finish the project, have work judged by critical others or ever feel the bruise of doubt press firmly on their chest.
Perfectionists understand more than they’ll ever let on. Because perfectionism means being in control.
At. All. Times.
Balancing financial budgets can be tough — even tougher are the emotional ones we unconsciously keep score of.
For example, try this reflection:
- Write down 10 negative things (or situations you were in) that happened in the last month.
- Now write down 10 positive things that happened last month.
I remember Sunday roasts as a young child – middle of three in my family. It was either lamb or chicken - and I often hoped it was the latter so I could be the first to find the wishbone and break it with mum. That pinky-to-pinky moment seemed so purposeful - as if that was all I'd need do to get whatever I wanted.
Simple times.
“Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is.” — German Proverb
Constant worry can become chronic, affecting your relationships, health and finances. It’s unhelpful baggage to carry around when all you want is peace in your life. Mindful Meditation, with its now respected credentials from the medical world could offer you a simple way to make peace with constant worry.